Equality

I think my curiosity beat out my insecurity, I told Husband as I tried to explain my plans for the evening.
But I don't have to attend anything? he clarified.
No, it doesn't involve you at all.
My high school reunion is tomorrow night. I'm not going. I thought about going and had a theory that after 10 years the cool kids (not me) were still going to be the cool kids, and the kids that didn't quite make the cut (me) were still not going to be the cool kids. I'm pretty socially inept; small talk isn't a strength of mine, so I thought best to skip it. I didn't think we'd all be on equal footing just yet.
But then, someone got a Facebook email chain suggesting a smaller get together, and my curiosity kicked in. Without discussing it with Husband, I found myself replying to the email chain. And then, I immediately started fretting. I am 20-30 pounds heavier than I was 10 years ago, and my fashion sense has regressed since then. I didn't know what I'd say to these people that I didn't know all that well back then anyway.
But I went, and it was fun. I rushed around trying to find the perfect pair of jeans to wear tonight, and ended up not having time to change into them. I went anyway, and I enjoyed myself.
I spent the evening with girls who were cooler than I was, who had boyfriends when I didn't, but it wasn't as hard as it was ten years ago. We hung out for about two hours, caught up and ate cake until babies and toddlers needed to go to bed. I am exhausted from trying to be social and funny, and I'd like to think that maybe I'll keep in touch with these girls more frequently than once every ten years and whatever Facebook updates are posted. I wonder how it would be with other people I used to know.
I kind of wish I was going tomorrow night, just to see. After ten years, we are more equal than I expected.