Standing

Husband took me bowling yesterday. I hadn't bowled, other than on the Wii, since I went in grad school almost 5 years ago. Additionally, Husband never plans anything, never suggests doing anything that doesn't involve watching sporting events, television, or movies, so I was thrilled by his suggestion. We arrived at the bowling alley and were assigned to Lane 10. We paid for unlimited games, since Mr. Independent was having a sleepover with his Memere and Pop. Husband and I didn't take much notice of the people around us, and we started taking our turns hurling bowling balls down the aisle and occasionally knocking a pin or two down. A man from the next aisle approached us. Do you know about bowler's etiquette? he asked. We indicated our confusion. Bowler's etiquette, he repeated. Bowler's etiquette is not going at the same time as someone in the next lane. So you take turns. You take your first turn, then one of us takes our turn while you're waiting for your ball to come back. And then you go. So we'll take turns. We go, then you go. Husband and I were a little confused, and a little put off, but I told myself he was just letting us know the local customs, and I'd never want to offend the locals.
Husband and I bowled another frame or two, and we were again interrupted by the same person. You know, there are bumpers you can set up if you want, he suggested to me in a friendly, conversational tone. I guess he'd been watching me bowl between turns. I was shocked. And then-I don't know if it was the French Cosmo and glass of white wine I'd had with dinner or if something in my fairly mild-mannered personality snapped. I turned around and said, I don't really want any advice. It's my birthday, and I'm just trying to have fun.
What? It was his turn to register confusion.
I don't want any advice, I repeated. It's my birthday, and I haven't been bowling in five years. I just want to have fun. I don't want any advice, but I appreciate your kindness. Then I walked back to Husband who was completely mortified by me choosing this moment out of millions of other moments of unwanted, unsolicited advice in our five years together to stand up for myself. I apologized to Husband for embarrassing him, and we finished our first game and bowled another, although it was clear that neither of us were enjoying ourselves. It was probably clear when I said I want to go home. I just want to go home, after each turn.
I'm really not sure why I chose that moment to say something. After awhile I was able to think that maybe the a-hole was trying to be helpful, pass on the wisdom of a more experienced bowler to someone who was so obviously struggling. But I don't think that excuses his presumptive behavior. Usually by now, 12 hours later, I'd be weighted down with guilt and wondering how I could track this person down and apologize to him for my behavior. But this time I'm not sorry. I'm sorry he ruined part of a fun evening out-such a rarity for us, and I'm sorry that my behavior reflected poorly on Husband, but I'm not sorry for what I said.