Sobbing in My Car

I make a strong effort not to pay attention to the news. I've learned that it's better for all involved if I don't know about impending bird flu, the war on terror, negative campaigning, or credit crises. But I love NPR and hate the radio in general. So when I'm, driving around, either on the way to work in the morning or on the way home from work/the gym, I tend to put NPR on rather than listen to inane prattle and crappy music. So despite my efforts to stick my head in the sand, I hear a fair amount of what's going on in the news.
I turned on NPR this afternoon while Baby and I headed to the liquor store, and I learned of the former prime minister of Pakistan's assassination. I found myself at first distressed by this news and later saddened, saddened to the point that if affected my mood and demeanor for the rest of the day. As I drove to the grocery store to replace some chilies that had gone bad, I heard more news on this subject and found myself in the driver's seat sobbing for a woman I know almost nothing about, from a country I know nothing about. I can't figure this out. I am still devastated by this woman's death. I still want to cry for her, for her family, for her country, and I think I will end up shedding a few more tears for a woman I didn't care about, a country I don't care about. I can't figure out my sadness, except that maybe I'm sad because this is not what the world should be. We should be better than this. I know there's nothing I can do about it, bit I don't want the world to be a place where people are assassinated or blown up or get their houses taken away or can't eat or get educated. I want better. My baby deserves a world better than this.