I got paid last Friday, and as a way of celebrating my paycheck being less than what we expected, Husband and I went out to eat. Since I'd denied his request for Wendy's a few days earlier, I didn't put up a fight, and we loaded Baby into the car and headed for the closest Wendy's, 45 minutes away. About halfway to Wendy's, we started discussing where we'd eat our food. It was an exciting and stimulating conversation: Would we go into the restaurant? Would we go through the drive-thru and eat in the car in the parking lot? I, being in a foul mood, wasn't pleased with either choice, so I suggested we go through the drive-thru and eat in the car while driving around. I had a perfectly selfish reason for this; Baby was asleep, and if he woke up I'd have to feed him. I was so so so tired of feeding him. And I was fully aware that Husband, being the constant driver in our family would be stuck eating his Baconator in the car. Yep, I am that selfish. We spent a few minutes discussing whether or not it was possible to eat the Baconator while driving, and I finally gave in, said I'd feed the baby inside Wendy's and eat my chicken sandwich cold. As we pulled into the parking lot, Husband inspected the sign on the window advertising the Baconator. He said, "Well, sweetie, from that picture, it looks like something I can eat while driving. Let's just stay in the car." He's so good to put up with my shit. We pulled up to the little drive-thru speaker, and Husband got very excited. The Baconator was the #4 combo on the menu. He was happy about this for two reasons: 1) He didn't have to actually say the word Baconator while ordering, and 2) He thinks it's a sign of the Baconator's permanence.
As the non-driver, I had the all-important task of doling out the food. Being in a terrible mood, I wanted to get my food situated first, but somewhat patiently unveiled the Baconator as Husband foamed at the mouth. I have to admit I was worried for him. I thought maybe he'd built up the Baconator so much that it couldn't possibly meet his expectations. My stomach was spinning as we pulled back the foil wrapper. Then silence. Finally he looked at me and said, "I can't eat this and drive at the same time." We stared at the grease soaked bun with 18 slices of bacon, a bottle of Heinz 57, and 64 pieces of melting American cheese spilling out of it. The standard lettuce and tomato were gone, lest there be anything nutritious on this burger.
We quickly decided that I should eat my food while Husband drove around, then we'd find a place to pull over, switch drivers, and then I'd drive while he experienced his food of the gods. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how we ended up in Saluda.
Husband was pleased with the Baconator. He felt that the level of baconness was appropriate and appreciated the lack of lettuce and tomato. He mulled over whether or not pickles would improve the Baconator, but I think he finally decided that perfection doesn't need improvement. He was thrilled when we ended up having to help my mother move the next day because it meant we'd stop at Wendy's for lunch on the way, and he'd get another Baconator.
I can't give my own opinion because I don't like bacon on cheeseburgers, and I haven't eaten Wendy's cheeseburgers since Christmas break of 1994 when I ate one and vomited about 45 minutes later. It turned out that I had a bad case of the flu, but I haven't been able to eat one since. It's classical conditioning at it's best.
As the non-driver, I had the all-important task of doling out the food. Being in a terrible mood, I wanted to get my food situated first, but somewhat patiently unveiled the Baconator as Husband foamed at the mouth. I have to admit I was worried for him. I thought maybe he'd built up the Baconator so much that it couldn't possibly meet his expectations. My stomach was spinning as we pulled back the foil wrapper. Then silence. Finally he looked at me and said, "I can't eat this and drive at the same time." We stared at the grease soaked bun with 18 slices of bacon, a bottle of Heinz 57, and 64 pieces of melting American cheese spilling out of it. The standard lettuce and tomato were gone, lest there be anything nutritious on this burger.
We quickly decided that I should eat my food while Husband drove around, then we'd find a place to pull over, switch drivers, and then I'd drive while he experienced his food of the gods. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how we ended up in Saluda.
Husband was pleased with the Baconator. He felt that the level of baconness was appropriate and appreciated the lack of lettuce and tomato. He mulled over whether or not pickles would improve the Baconator, but I think he finally decided that perfection doesn't need improvement. He was thrilled when we ended up having to help my mother move the next day because it meant we'd stop at Wendy's for lunch on the way, and he'd get another Baconator.
I can't give my own opinion because I don't like bacon on cheeseburgers, and I haven't eaten Wendy's cheeseburgers since Christmas break of 1994 when I ate one and vomited about 45 minutes later. It turned out that I had a bad case of the flu, but I haven't been able to eat one since. It's classical conditioning at it's best.
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1 comment:
Wow, that sounds even worse than I imagined. Tell your husband/my brother that he is no longer allowed to rag on me about bacon consumption in my house. We don't even buy the stuff now, which is good since I think M managed to eat this entire family's quota for a year.
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